Doing what you love

Hello there,

DSC01242-1It has been a little while since I’ve written (I think I often start my blog posts like that, don’t I?). Well, technically I have written, but I don’t think biology homework counts. I simply didn’t really feel like actually writing, and so I didn’t. If there’s one thing I’ve started hating; it would be pushing myself to like something. (read more here)

But last week, on a skiing trip, I started longing to write again. Somehow the mountains provoked me to think (yes, cliché, I don’t care). Mainly about my future, and what I currently like to do. I concluded I truly have no clue how I am going to find some kind of job that will satisfy me. I think I enjoy too many completely different things. Is that a problem you experience? Or do you think I shouldn’t consider this a problem at all?

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Grades can be very confusing

Hello there,

I guess I haven’t really been writing a lot lately. Which I guess is a bit unlike me. (and I guess I always start my post with ‘I guess’)

It’s not that I don’t like writing anymore, or photography. It’s just that life has kind of been a lot to handle lately.

I am used to having a lot of ‘me-time’, you know when nobody wants you to do something and you yourself don’t really need to do something. It’s what moms talk about when they get a manicure and thus flee from their children.

But that’s not what I want to discuss today. What I do want to discuss is feeling pressured. At times, I feel a bit unhappy because of this confusing feeling, especially when the ‘busy-ness’ of my life kicks up a notch. Do you? 

In the last 7 days, I took 11 tests. Which I think is pretty ridiculous considering the fact that these tests weren’t, you know, little tests (when I use you know, you know I really can’t think of a different way to put it). They were even called exams.

Whenever I prep for a test, I make sure I do pretty much anything I can. I do the extra exercises, I redo exercises I found difficult the first time around and I study until I can bloody tell you the definition of a ‘chloroplast’ at 2 am. Not kidding.

And yet, I found myself not being able to answer a couple of questions on my maths test. I also struggled with questions on other tests, but I won’t bore you with them. You see, the thing is, I know that I know exactly what I didn’t know/ wasn’t sure about.

But why, why do I remember those annoying, difficult questions (they were to me anyway)? It’s because I care. My grades are ridiculously high, so they can only go down really. Teachers literally tell me I should get a perfect 10 (no mistakes). And teachers also encourage me to pass my exams ‘cum laude’. If you’re still in school, do they do that at your school too? 

Taking all of those things in account, which I do in my head, it’s scary to me. Why can’t I just be an average student? Wouldn’t it be a lot easier then, if I would be happy with a grade that isn’t a 9 or a 10? But that’s like the opposite of what I want too, so I’m kind of stuck.

There’s another question I keep asking myself: Did I forget about my true interests whilst I was pushing myself to like everything? Let me explain this one though: I’ve gotten to a point in my life where I need to choose what I want to with it, with my life I mean. I need to think about what I want to study, and I find that very difficult, since I like so many different topics. At first, I thought about going to a university college. But I don’t think that will make me happy either, since I would basically postpone making a decision.

So, now that I’ve decided I want to make a choice, I’m asking myself: What are my true interests? And then, every single time, I find out I don’t really know what those are and the question above pops up.

I expect things, certain grades in particular, from myself, and I think others do too.

How does one deal with expectations?

A Young Mademoiselle

PS Please don’t think I’m always sad about the fact that my grades are good, I usually am very pleased with them. I actually think I am a bit too happy about my grades sometimes. But I won’t get into that today.

PPS Grades are so weird, they’re literally numbers that apparently affect me (and others, right?) quite a bit.

PPS By now I actually got a couple of grades back, and so far, so good.

Wait what. So you were drinking beer?

I guess I can’t wear my favourite jeans to my first day of school tomorrow. You may be wondering, why not? Well. Because I spilled beer over them yesterday. Wait what. So you were drinking beer? Perhaps that’s not that what you’re thinking. You don’t know me after all. I’ll help you out a little. I’m about as ‘good’ as one can be. And so are my friends

I wasn’t drinking beer. But yet I spilled beer. Odd, right? I definitely think so. The entire situation felt odd to me.

I was at a barbecue. Not because I wanted to, but because my mother told me we had to go. We apparently need to know who our neighbours are. I kind of agree. So, there I was, at this wonderful barbecue with people whom I barely knew. I recognised some of them, and I knew the names of others, but I had never really properly spoken to the people who live in the houses near me (we apparently call those people ‘neighbours’).

In the beginning, I tried to get through the night by ‘not-talking-much-but-eating-the-good-food’. It tends to be a great strategy. And then this random dude starts talking to our little group. You know, those awkward little circles that people form? And then all of the sudden he says, why don’t we sit down. And I’m like: ‘Sure, why not’, thinking that we would sit down. Not just Jason (his fake name) and I, which actually happened.

He turned out to be good company. After we talked for a bit, some of his friends joined us:  one somewhat drunk girl and another drinking girl (I don’t think she was drunk though). When I told them I had never drunk anything, the drinking girl offered me her drink. Funnily, the drunk girl told me I shouldn’t drink it. But I did. I really was interested. Don’t worry though, I took the tiniest sip in the world. Yes, I’m exaggerating, but you get my point, right?

But what does this have to do with me spilling beer over my pants??? I’ll get to my point. Just you wait. 

Jason then told me I should try to open his beer. And that, people, is how I got beer all over my pants, without drinking any beer. After that awkward moment, and more talking, the girls left (and some random other guy who joined us).

I actually had a great night, talking to this guy, who I had never talked to before. We just sat there and talked for hours. About what he studied, what I wanted to study, what he wanted to do with his life, and muuuuch more. We talked to the point where I got cold. Which is why I left.

Isn’t it strange, that I had never thought of him as a potential person to have a conversation with?It makes me wonder why many of us, including myself, find it very scary to talk to strangers. Shouldn’t we think of the people we don’t know as potential friends or just people to talk to?

I felt so good afterwards. I hope I find the courage to talk to more people.

A Young Mademoiselle

PS This isn’t a romantic story, in case you’re wondering.

PPS I wrote this a couple of weeks ago, school has already started by now :).

Some new footwear (ft. Adidas stan-smith)

Have you joined the hype yet? Because I just did. Warning: This post is ‘picture-rich’. 

01-1These shoes were all over the internet. Well. Not literally these shoes, because these shoes are only to be found on my Instagram, Pinterest and blog. And closet. And not literally all over the internet either. Obviously. So let me rephrase that sentence. Adidas made a banging comeback with their superstars and ‘stan-smiths (?)’. That’s better right?

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My perfect watch (Fossil tailor)

Get ready for pictures. Lots of them.01-1.jpgI think you might recognise this. Many of the items I own are not perfect in my eyes. I like them. Obviously. I wouldn’t have bought them if I didn’t. But if I could, there’s something I would change. Even it’s just the tiny zipper on a massive bag that you barely notice. Recognisable?

So that’s why I’m writing about this watch today. Because my nitpicky self can not find a single thing she would change in this watch.

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Two of my favourite things (Essie review)

“These are a few of my favourite things.” (Props to you if you know the entire song 😉01-1-1.jpgThe things pictured above truly are ‘some my favourite things’. And by ‘the things’ I don’t mean the pen and notebooks in the background. I mean those two little bottles that say ‘essie’ on them. I guess we call those thingies nailpolishes.

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Visiting Vienna

‘Apfelstrudel’ at a bakery called ‘Gerstner’

What are your favourite childhood memories? I remember sitting on my father’s lap watching the movie Sissi. Many times. It was, and still is my all time favourite movie (technically movies, since there are three of them).

This summer I got to visit Vienna. Wait. Let me rephrase that. This summer I chose to visit Vienna. At times I don’t realise I’m nearly 18, nearly legally adult, and get taken pretty seriously by my parents.

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